Cut the Shit

Living With a Migraine

For the last 48 hours, I've been dealing with one of the most incapacitating illnesses on the planet. Have you ever had a migraine? I grew up with them and it's the worst thing I can ever imagine. I was told that I would lose them during puberty. And if we were talking frequency, I definitely did. But severity? No. A migraine is a gift I get to open at least two or three times a year and each time it's just as bad, if not worse, than the one before it. After all the testing I've been through (you have no idea), it's clear to me that there is no particular cause or remedy. I have just learned to weather the storm.

As an experienced adult, I can catch most of the migraines ahead of time. Very rarely does it take me out of commission for days at a time. But then there are the persistent ones...the ones that refuse sleep and medication. And when they hit, they hit like a fucking nuclear bomb.

I not only missed one day of work this week, I missed two. In a row. That's a rarity for me. I have no problem taking a sick day, but two in a row?? That means I'm actually sick.

As of this moment, I'm deaing with the most mind numbing headache, but fortunately, that's all it is. A headache. There's a major difference between the two.

There was a moment this morning when I fully believed that I would have a headache for the rest of my life. Usually sleep and me killing it with medicine works, but for the last two days I kept waking up to the same mind-splitting ache. I haven't watched TV, I haven't eaten, and I surely haven't even looked at the computer screen. Even now, my left eye is straining to focus (that's the nucleous of all my migraines).

I can feel that I'm on the mend now. My head aches, but in the normal way and my stomach is no longer raging with nausea. I might get so bold as to turn on a light in my apartment tonight. Trust me, it's a luxury.

I just wanted to check in with you all, more so that I confirm to myself that I'm actually starting to get better. It's quite invigorating when you pull out of something like this. Like a new lease on life. My head may not hurt tomorrow!

That's enough.

Sleep well.